Embracing Compliments: Fostering PositiveConnections for Your Child
In our daily lives, we often find ourselves receiving compliments or praise, and it's no different when it comes to our children.
When a teacher tells a parent that their child is well-behaved at school, we might expect the parent to respond with a heartfelt "thank you." but sadly it's not uncommon to hear a response like, "they're not like that at home!"
This reaction might seem harmless, but it can unintentionally negate moments of connection and hinder your child's self-esteem.
In this blog, we'll explore why some parents might respond this way and how to embrace compliments gracefully, ultimately benefiting your child's development.
Why Do Parents Negate Compliments?
Fear of Bragging: Many parents worry about appearing boastful or conceited if they openly accept compliments about their children. Society often discourages parents from being too proud of their children's accomplishments, leading to these defensive responses.
Self-Criticism: Parents may hold themselves to high standards and feel that any acknowledgment of their child's achievements highlights their own shortcomings as parents. This self-criticism can lead to defensiveness.
Relatability: Parents sometimes negate compliments to connect with others who might be experiencing challenges with their own children. It can be easier to bond with other parents over shared struggles than to embrace positive feedback.
How to Receive Compliments with Grace:
Try to lean in: take an active pause before you say anything. This is an opportunity for you to try something different ‘for free’
Say "Thank You": When someone compliments your child, simply respond with a heartfelt "thank you." This acknowledges the kind words and fosters positive connections. It’s short, sweet and easy.
Share the Joy: Instead of deflecting praise, share in the joy of your child's accomplishments. You can say, "We're so proud of them too!" This response maintains humility while celebrating your child's successes.
Focus on the Positive: If you genuinely feel that your child's behaviour differs at home, acknowledge inwardly with curiosity, and focus on the praise by responding “that’s lovely to hear, we're grateful they behave well at school."
It’s an opportunity for Growth: Using compliments is a great way to open up discussion about your child's growth and development. You can share the strategies you've used to support their positive behaviour, encourage a constructive conversation, and even inspire others to try your approach.
Acknowledge specific Strengths : Whether it’s about suggesting ideas for family activities, opening up conversations about interesting things, keeping going at something challenging. You can easily share what you’ve noticed about them, and they’ll likely love it
“I noticed you’re really good at encouraging others"
"You're great at coming up with new ideas for us to try"
Boosts Self-Esteem: When parents accept compliments gracefully, it reinforces a child's sense of self-worth and encourages positive self-esteem.
Encourages Positive Behaviour: Children thrive on positive reinforcement. Embracing compliments helps them see the value of their efforts and encourages continued good behaviour.
Strengthens Parent-Child Bonds: Accepting compliments gracefully fosters stronger connections between parents and children. It communicates love, pride, and support.
Sets a Positive Example: By modeling how to accept compliments with grace, parents teach their children valuable social skills and emotional intelligence.
Conclusion: In a world where we often focus on challenges and shortcomings, it's essential to embrace moments of positivity and connection. As a parent you’re in an ideal position to do something different that feels good for everyone! When someone compliments your child, you can seize the opportunity to boost their self-esteem, strengthen your parent-child relationship, and set a positive example of graciousness. Remember, by saying "thank you" to compliments, you're not only benefiting your child but also fostering a more positive and connected family dynamic.